I Can Only Imagine

As I log on this morning to read the latest entries by friends who knew William, my heart feels heavy. Although the funeral is over, we are still getting over the grief.

As I typed this entry, the song "I Can Only Imagine" is playing in the background. The lyrics goes like this: "I can only imagine what it'll be like when I walk by Your side, I can only imagine what my eyes will see when Your face is before me. Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel, will I dance for You Jesus, or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine, when that day comes, and I find myself standing in the Son, I can only imagine when all I would do is to forever worship You."

I thought of the lyrics, I thought of William who no longer needs to imagine, cos he is already in God's presence. He has gone ahead of us. Then I thought of myself, what it would be like standing in God's presence, and I was swept by an unexpected wave of emotions, and tears just flowed down my face, as I imagined facing my dear Lord in my grief, and feeling what Mary might have felt when she fell at Jesus' feet when Jesus arrived at Lazarus' funeral. The pain, the question "Lord why?" ... Then I remembered Pastor Sng mention about why Jesus had delayed going to Lazarus. He wanted the people to know that in Him, death is not the final sentence. He was able to conquer death, and He has conquered death!

When I ponder further, I realised that this is the exact point that I wanted to recall from pastor's sharing at the wake. I had remembered the other 2 points (Live well to die well, life is fragile), but I forgot this first point. For the past few days, I was asking the Lord to help me recall it, and now, He has answered me, in the form a deep, personal experience! Such an amazing God! I know for sure that He is with me, helping me through this grieving process. God is so Real!