Issues

Have been feeling rather down and out the past few days. I guess it could be attributed to how directionless I am and feel. The other issue constantly on my mind is the HCM. This Sunday will be the last week of "outsourced" children program, and I have absolutely no idea what we're going to do in the following weeks. Our suggestion to extend the outsourcing has been turned down flatly. Are the helpers then expected to pick up the lessons from next week? Where are the materials and resources coming from?

I find that the min is in quite a pathetic condition, not because of the other helpers, but because I am not doing a good job coordinating this thing. Issues, problems just keep arising, and I have no solution to speak of. Then I blame myself for not trying hard enough, not waiting upon God, not rallying the people, not initiating stuff, etc. And I do find it a great struggle to do any of these. I constantly ask myself "where is my heart". What am I passionate about? Is this what God wants me to do? How? I am so lost, and time is just ticking away, bringing with it the various deadlines!

In the midst of all these confusion, there is a number of coordination works to be done for HCM this week. Am praying for God’s divine strength and purpose to prevail.

With all these clutter in me, I need a time-out desperately. And thankfully, managed to get a half day off this Friday. Will take the time to ventilate to God and hear what He’s got to say…

On a different note, I was very encouraged yesterday when my mum showed me a verse that she had carefully cut out from her church bulletin, and she had pasted the slip of paper in her wallet. I’ve never really seen such display of “spiritual act” from her. The verse is from Ps 46:1.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.”

A timely reminder indeed!