Mindset

"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it...What a wretched (wo)man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

My exact sentiments for today. It had been a super frustrating day, and I can hardly talk myself out of the frustration. It's a vicious cycle, the more I think of it, the more upset and embittered I become. Finally, I managed a desperate plea to God for help, out of this cycle, and He pointed me to the above passage. Oh what a timely reminder! I love the subsequent verses that says "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

And this leads on to "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry 'Abba, Father'" and "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Oh what a privilege!

Oh mine, I desperately need time-out period from work to re-focus!

Work work work

Its been a very busy period the past weeks, besides clocking late hours at work, I have also been reporting to work on several Saturdays. I personally find that the amount of time/effort devoted by the project team is rather obscene. Working beyond 9pm daily seems like the norm, Saturdays are declared official workdays, even Good Friday was taken as an official workday!! This is so unacceptable! I refused to work on Good Friday, after attending service at church.

I was helping out as usher at my organization’s musical last night. I must say that it was a rather credible performance, much better than I had expected. Most of my friends who heard about the musical staged by my company were taken aback. Can’t fault them, even the staff had that same reaction when the idea was first mooted. What business does my organization have in staging plays or musicals? Well, all for charity. This is definitely a new option in raising funds for charity.

Heard some positive, encouraging reviews from the VVIPs and audience. My colleague and I felt that the success of this inaugural musical may spell more of such events in future. Not really a welcomed thought though…

I am currently reading a book about changing career. There are some step-by-step analyses and exercises that help readers uncover some of their sentiments regarding a change of career. I’m hoping to discover a bit more of myself and inclination through these exercises. I pray that God will grant me wisdom and understanding as I prayerfully seek Him regarding this.

Have been feeling very unsettled the past weeks, and a colleague very aptly forwarded a writeup to me. It came at such an appropriate time and made much sense to me.

Happiness is a Skill
Like all skills, it requires practice. Like all skills, some people are naturally better at than others, but like all skills, almost everyone can develop it. If you depend upon something outside of yourself to achieve happiness, you will never tap into that inner pool where infinite joy exists.

The first step in achieving happiness is making the conscious decision to be happy. You must choose happiness, as like all other choices, it’s an option.

The second step is to be aware that true happiness comes from within you. The perfect relationship, financial security, achieving your ideal weight will all bring temporary pleasure, but they will not bring lasting happiness.

Real joy can never be permanently taken from you. Of course, you will experience sadness, grief and confusion at times, because that’s part of the human experience, but those emotions are temporary. Without your own, personal experience of sadness, grief and confusion, you would not develop the compassion and understanding necessary to help others.

As you practise accessing that inner state of happiness, it becomes easier to put the negative states in perspective. Decide to be happy, no matter what. Practise accessing happiness. Develop the skill of living in joy.

(by Diane L. Ross)

Future Direction

The past few weeks have been pretty draining, emotionally that is. Met up with my financial planner friend, an ex-course mate of mine, last week. Oh man, he's definiftely one of the people I've known who's got the most "successful" career. Besides the big paycheck he's drawing at this young age, what impressed me more was his zeal, perseverence, and adaptability in this industry. He knows his goals and works hard to reach them. He seems to have his career path well charted out.

Guess I was hard hit because I've been feeling as if I'm at this cross road for some time already, taking stock of my life, wondering what am I doing with my life, what have I achieved, is my work being valued etc. From an earhly perspective, I'm going nowhere, accomplished little at work, and am merely a headcount in my organisation. I'm acquainted only with working hard, not working smart.

These negative sentiments got me feeling rather down, and fighting these emotions just drained me out. Knowing God's truth is one matter, embracing it is another. I know that God is my Provider, my Wisdom, my Guide, my Fortress, my Sustenence, my very present Help in time of need, and I'm so thankful for that. What matters most should be things of eternal value, not worldly success.

I'm praying that all these truths will translate from head knowledge to heart conviction. I have learnt that the way to be convinced of God's truth is not by shoving it down one's throat. Rather, it involves looking toward Jesus, and focusing on His goodness. I remember the words of the song:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace"

No doubt things are still hazy now, but I know who holds my hand and who has charted out my path with plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Amen!