Lost again?!

Yes, as you may have noticed, my template looks different now. I have apparently lost a chunk of my template for the past 2 days, and I hadn't even realised it!!

Thanks to Avie who helped me narrow down the possibilities. I could have lost the template (links, chatterbox, site meter etc) during my last save. I kinda recall that the PC hanged halfway, and I had to re-launch the browser. Hence, template could have been saved halfway. All the bottom portion got chopped off.

Its the second time I had such a boo-boo experience with this blog thingie. So upseting. Received a suggestion from Avie about saving a copy of the template html as backup. Hmmm, I think that it pays to do so. But, let me get my template up and running first. During the weekend perhaps... It will take up much time and effort. Meanwhile, let me mourn over the "loss".

Rejoice with me, God is growing my heart

Sweet gesture

Received a sweet gesture from my dear fren JY yesterday evening. It sort of provided the icing to end off my busy day.

I was running around today, preparing some info for an upcoming management meeting on Monday morning. Also had to sit down with a colleague to jointly appraise some staff. All in all, I am involved in the appraisal of 10 staff this year! Thank God I am halfway through them. Gotta complete them by Monday though, so its been a very tight schedule.

I really want to take these appraisal sessions to better relate with each staff, esp. as we haven't been progressing much in the area of team building since the last re-org. Team morale is at an all-time low. A tall order for me, but I guess we gotta start somewhere. Some of the staff have been with me since day 1 when I joined the organisation. I have always looked upon them simply as staff working on my team... Each person does his own part and we will try to move along and meet the targets set before us. Certain prejudices and mindset have subtly evolved along the way.

However, of late, God has been prompting my spirit to do something about this. The team should not continue to de-generate into oblivion... My boss has challenged me in this aspect too. But more than that, today, for the first time, I experienced a certain emotional responsibility toward this team. I realised that God is growing my heart for these people, to value each person and to desire what's best for them. No doubt there are certain quirkiness and underlying attitude issues, but things can certainly improve.

I remain guided by my Lord and Saviour in this uphill task ahead.

Appraised

Testimonies of Dr Diana Young indicate that it is very possible for a person to excel in the workplace and yet be sold out for the Lord. She inspired me much.

I had my appraisal session with my boss today. It was a rather pleasant time of receiving constructive feedback. Thank God for the generally positive words. It felt really, really good to hear words of appreciation, acknowledgement and satisfaction for the effort put in during the last couple of months. I had not expected this response actually, having had no such indication from boss all these while...

His words served to encourage me very much and I honestly felt good about it. As I ponder over the episode, it suddenly dawned on me that if I am feelingl so satisfied hearing human praise now, what more the praise of my Heavenly Father, when I ultimately meet Him face to face. Oh what a breathtaking moment, to hear my Lord say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I've never really "desired" to hear this, until now.

But its never really about how hard I work to earn God's favour. His grace is unmerited favour. In the parable of the talents, God looks at our faithfulness. Also, "without faith, it's impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Oh, I do believe You Lord.

I was challenged to work on the areas of my leadership and decision making. How apt, as these are the areas which I find lacking in myself too. Not sure why, but I felt a deep sense of assurance that I am not alone in this. God is with me. Surprisingly, there was no dread nor defensiveness facing up to my weaknesses. Instead, I boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Diana's life has shown me that it is possible to be a dynamic leader, yet exhibit the Christ-like qualities too. I aspire to live my life likewise. Thank You for the inspiration, Lord!

A Disheartening News

My attention was captured when I read in Today's paper that a businesswoman, Dr Diana Young, had been involved in a car accident in China. The familiarity of the face staring out from the pic caused an uneasy stir in me. I have seen her before... pretty sure she's from church. I prayed and prayed for her recovery.

When I heard the evening news that she has passed away, my heart sank. Why Lord? And then I got confirmation that she was indeed a church member, and an active member too. God, what is Your purpose for this tragedy? My heart goes out to the grieving family. When I try to understand it all, I really couldn't.

Then it suddenly dawned on me that Diana is now with the Lord! And then I felt an unexplainable sense of relief. She is in safe Hands, really. It matters greatly whether our perspective is upon the circumstances, or upon eternity.

"Dear Lord, would You please be so close to the family, and comfort them dearly through this very tough period. May they draw strength from You and from one another to face the coming days."

Past Week!

The past week was one of rest, recharge, and respite from work. Had a retreat on Tue afternoon, attended a course on Thu and Fri, went for my company's charity walk, watched a frisbee tournament, supported a friend at a competition on Sat, celebrated midautumn festival with HC on Sun. What an eventful week!

A personal highlight for me was the frisbee tournament. I thoroughly enjoyed the 5+hrs we were there at Marina South, watching the games in action and soaking in the atmosphere of the tournament. And mesmerised by this certain sweet voice coming through the PA system periodically... :)

And yes, the speed, stamina and techniques of the players were just so outstanding! I also noticed that the frisbee game is rather steeped in the "ang-moh" culture... the friendliness, the accents, the beer gulping that the players displayed. Honestly felt as if I were in some foreign land with a different culture. Thank God for this experience, cause I am much more inspired to hone my playing skills, after watching the games in action.

Communication

I am attending a 2-day course on Managing and Leading Teams. The course touched briefly on the breakdown in how we perceive communication - 7% is based on words, 38% is based on vocal (tone, sound) and 55% based on visual (body language, facial expression etc).

I think to myself, alas, it's no wonder why we find it so hard to discern God! For most of us, we base our communication with God on the written Word, although some of us may actually hear the audible voice of God... It's clear that we are unable to communicate with God based on our experience of communication with people. We don't see, touch, hear God so readily.

So do I then excuse myself from a 2-way communication with God?? No! I thank God for the Holy Spirit, the Counselor who will teach me all things and will remind me of everything Jesus had said. (Jn14:26) And God will give us a heart to know Him. (Jer 24:7) It seems that the ball is in God's court, to communicate with us. And He will do just that. Our part is to listen, to listen in full attention. And yes, its so exciting when we start realising that we are actually hearing God in our everyday life!

Personal Retreat

Haha, went for my mini personal retreat with God today at the Changi Airport. Was supposed to have gone yesterday, but it was superceded by an important deadline to meet at work, so gotta stay back... But just as well, as I wasn't quite in the 'correct' mood yesterday. Had some misunderstanding at home. Thank God that the air was cleared yesterday evening. So it was with a lighter heart that I spent my time with the Lord today :)

It was certainly a luxury to spend an entire afternoon lazing in a couch at some coffee place, enjoying a hot drink, listening to music, reading some good books, and jotting my thoughts in a diary. Sounds relaxing? It certainly was!

I guess I need to break away from the mindset that a retreat is worthwhile only if it accomplishes some pre-determined objectives. Isn't it good enough that I enjoy the personal time with God? Afterall, I don't think courting couples stipulate objectives for each and every meeting they have. I suspect that my mentality is based on the assumption that personal retreats are far and few, and therefore are very precious. Thus, Iwill like my retreats to have with the maximum efficiency i.e. to settle as many issues with God as possible. Hmmm, I can actually bring the issues before God at other times as well, can't I? Since I walk with the Lord moment by moment...

Oh well, I did not manage to 'settle' any issue with God today, but I have definitely been refreshed in His Presence. Thank You Jesus!

Singapore Idol

Am feeling pretty excited and thankful to God after watching the results of the Singapore Idol today (didn't manage to catch the actual performance though). It was special because one of the contestant, Jerry Ong, who got into the next round, publicly thanked our Lord Jesus Christ!! My instinctive reaction was to shout out "Amen! Praise the Lord!"

Actually, my gladness stems not just from a fellow believer's standpoint, but because I had known J Ong when we were in Sunday School some donkey years ago. He had been the typical student leader with loads of charisma, and who exuded such a love for the Lord during his teenage years. At that time, I had really looked up to him and admired him as a role model. Well, but some years later, he left the Sunday School and the church. Have not heard about him since.

Honestly, I was feeling a little apprehensive about this 3rd group's showing after finding out that J Ong is one of the contestant. The One big question in my mind is, "is he still walking close with the Lord?" I had read in the papers that he loved singing and was willing to give up his job to pursue this passion. Somehow, that kinda gave me the impression that God is not very much in the picture... Oh, forgive my tendency to jump to early conclusions.

But when I watched the results, and hear his speech, my heart just leap with gladness! Oh, thank You Lord, for preserving this brother's faith, for I still see the shine of Christ in him. May he continue to walk close with You, to hear You and to be a testimony for Your Glory!

Connected to Vine

Quite many issues on my mind lately.

Not sure why, but God seems to lead many of my friends who have relationship issues to confide in me. I wonder why, since I am not too experienced in this field. And yes, I do feel so privileged and thankful. Yet I know the grave responsiblity that God has entrusted me, to be praying for these precious friends. Prayer, maybe that's what God intends me to do.

Have been also thinking about the spiritual condition of the congregation at Hope. Somehow, there seems to be a vacuum somewhere. Something's not connected, and I am not seeing much excitement and hunger for the Lord. Everyone, me included, seems to be moving along, very busy, and simply coping with demands that come our way. Where is the evidence of staying connected to the Vine?

God showed me that there isn't enough of the light of Jesus Christ beaming from the lives of Christians. Could it be that our lives don't create a hunger or thirst for Truth? Have we tasted of the goodness of the Lord? Have we known His love and mercy first hand? If the answers are yes, we could influence the lives of many, just by living ours day to day, filled with the Truth of the One and Only Living God. However, if our lives don't match our words, then it leaves a giant opening for any vain philosophy to become accepted.

So should I therefore immediately plunge into a different lifestyle and set of priority? May I suggest not, lest I come close to becoming like Martha. Jesus called us to be like Mary, who chose to spend time with Him, to wait upon Him, to look upon His goodness, to know Him.

With this timely reminder, I am inspired to take some time off work, and have a little rendezvous with my Lord. Oh yes, this is gonna be exciting! And may He grant me fresh revelations regarding the people close to my heart, whom I am praying for...

Thank You, Jesus

"Thank You Jesus" - a simple phrase I have started whispering under my breath, from time to time throughout each day. Not an empty paying of lip service unto God, as I had used to think it would be. Instead, since I picked up this habit, the Holy Spirit just atunes me to God's presence each time I thank Jesus. And He causes my spirit to be uplifted in Him! What do I thank Him for? Anything and everything that comes to mind, even the simple reminder that Jesus is with me. Oh mine, what a joy!

Ask and Receive

My QT material for today reads: "Do you ever hesitate to ask the Lord for something? Why is that: do you feel you don't deserve it, or that He is not able to give it? Ask the Lord to raise your level of faith in His generosity and His power.

Yes, I agree that we tend to hesitate in bringing certain matters before the Lord, thinking that its too trival, or too preposterous. At least that's true for me. I rationalise that I don't deserve it and I shouldn't ask, but hey, since when do I deserve anything from the Lord? In my pride, I have tried to "deserve" or earn God's grace, which is rather ironic, because grace is "unmerited favor". I should never try to be deserving, as I will fail miserably. Instead, let me humbly accept God's grace and live the victorious life in Him!

I read of the account in Matt 20:32 where Jesus responded to the call of 2 blind men. He stopped and asked them "What do you want me to do for you?" ... Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed Him.

I sense that God is posing the same question to me. Do I really believe in His goodness? Oh yes, I do! Help my unbelief.