Lifted

Yesterday's caroling pract was rather fun, I must say. Though it was a cosy group, we managed to learn new parts and sing them... I do hope that subsequent practice sessions will find us more polished and with a greater sense of enthusiasm and purpose.

Was back at office today, to conduct a certain geometric test drive. To my surprise, the drive ended much earlier than I had expected, so I was quite glad. I would have some time before heading down to the esplanade for the musical Mamma Mia.

The musical was very lively and energetic, with familiar and catchy tunes. On the whole, my family enjoyed it pretty much. So that was good.

Am feeling better now since my last entry, so thanks to my friends who prayed :) I attended the NCC BS on Thur and it was a refreshing time for me... again. Yes, thank God for helping to re-align my perspective to who He is. Amazing God, amazing love.

Blue

Am finally getting down to update my blog. I had been trying to upload some pics, but apparently the website stood me up. Sigh, frustrating… Nevertheless, I thought that it’ll be good to just pen down some words. Remembered that some time ago, I blogged about having many thoughts, but not too sure how to put them down in words. This is one of those moments. Can’t seem to string up my thoughts into a coherent train. Will attempt anyway.

Many things have taken place since I last posted my entry. Realised I have been rather “backward looking” (as opposed to forward-looking). My thoughts seem to dwell largely on things that have happened recently, or are taking place currently. In so doing, I can’t really embrace the future very well. This bugged me.

Christmas is round the corner, and this is supposed to be a great, fun, exciting time, one that is full of hope and joy. And I can’t seem to conjure up the mood within me. Melancholy maybe? Of course, one factor could be the “sian-ness” at work. This project work is really sapping my strength and zeal. I’m not really looking forward because it will get even more demanding over the next few months.

Another reason, maybe, is the activities that I have been and will be much involved in ch – cell, C party planning, puppet training, meetings w P, Frisbee, caroling, camp, follow-ups… the thought of it all kinda frightens me and honestly, I do feel like running away sometimes. (Btw, for those of you from Hope, this is Not an SOS call.)

I guess I’m just not feeling too tip top at this moment. And I’m not quite ready to snap out of it. Sometimes I wonder, am I genuinely feeling this way, or am I just giving in to self-pity?

Notice how many “I”, “my” and “me” in this entry? Definitely been focusing too much on myself. It’s a downward spiral. O God, please come and rescue me!

“Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek His face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide Your face from me,
do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.”
Psalm 27: 7-9

My Best Friend's Wedding

Yesterday, I "married off" my "best-est" friend. Yes, it was finally her big day, and I was following her around pretty much. Despite having gone through many, many rounds of being "jie-mei" at weddings, this wedding struck me as different. It was very close to my heart, maybe because it's my close friend's wedding and I'm personally attending to her. I felt somewhat a "sense of ownership" in this.

Well, it was a really enjoyable and happy occasion. My friend and I met up the day before and did her last minute beauty regime. I also stayed over the night before at her place. We didn't really engage in heart to heart talk, but I'm so glad to have prayed my heart out with her. How else can I bless her?

The bride has chosen only 2 personal assistants, compared with the 5 bros... Imagine the imbalance when we put the groom through the tests. As aptly described thereafter, we were rather merciful and gracious to them.

By and large, the church wedding went by quite smoothly, with some glitches in the sound system... And blunder, blunder, my friend fitted the wedding band on the wrong hand of the groom!!! Thankfully, it went unnoticed to most people. The couple beamed a "thank you" powerpoint of the people in their lives. And my friend actually posted up some very personal, flattering and nice words about our friendship. Oh mine, it touched my heart sooo much.

At the wedding reception, I found out that all my contemporaries were either hitched or getting hitched in the coming year. Suddenly, I felt abandoned by God, in a sense. But, what do I know? For God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future... In this truth, I put my faith.

After the church wedding and reception, we headed back to her parent's place for the tea ceremony, before driving to their new home at the other end of the island. We hung out at their place till late evening. Glad to know the other "jie mei" better through this day. We joked that we had both burst the limit in the number of times we were "jie meis" at past weddings. Superstition has it that we would be left on the shelf... If so, then, we made a pact to buy a HDB flat together when we turn 35!! Ha ha!

My dear friend had a secret agenda of introducing me to one of the bros. Apparently, she and hubby did some screening beforehand when choosing their helpers. I didn't know about the "conspiracy" till much later, when things got a bit fishy. Anyway, it was rather fun and harmless. Well-intentioned, I'm sure.

Through this wedding, I got to know one of the helpers who is involved in the frisbee league. A newbie to the game, but certainly full of passion. This is so exciting and inspiring! I really hope that Hope will experience a significant improvement as we play weekly. I think our people need to be exposed to other more "pro" players, to spar with one another unabashedly. Only then, can we improve upon our techniques and strategies.

Psalm 91:14-16

These verses are close to my heart. Praying it back to Him.

" 'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him, I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation.' " Psalm 91:14-16

Psalm 23

I've got this sudden urge to blog, this early Sat morning. I guess its Sat, and there’s no work later, so I can afford to stay up much later, so that kinda takes some stress off me.

I am so honoured to be the first to link up D's blog to mine… Welcome to the blogging culture, D! Going by our regular practice, you will soon have your blog as a link on all our blogs. Talk about the close knit of this blogging community ;)

Over the past few days, God has been bringing my attention back to Psalm 23 again and again, reminding me that "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want..."

It's amazing how my perspective gets so clouded when God is out of the picture. My mood, my zeal and my hope in life becomes eroded easily. But when God gently restores my focus back on Him and His Truth, my outlook becomes positive again. Each encounter with God is just so special and uplifting. Indeed, He restores my soul. Praise God!

Just some thoughts

At the meeting with P just now, we were exhorted to pray regularly for our cell, and I realise that this is an area which I need to work on. And I know that the primary key is not in disciplining myself to do so, but it lies with having a shepherd's heart for the flock. I'm so glad that I have not been left alone to "cultivate" this heart of mine. Rather, it is my Lord who is molding me.

A phrase that I often quote, "I do not trust in my ability to follow God, but I trust in His ability to lead me". So it shall be, as I plod along in this responsibility, may God increase my heart for His people, and my joy in serving Him.

On another note, I was rather inspired by WB on Sun, when he mentioned that he was treating his family to the musical Mamma Mia. Its such a sweet gesture. Ok, I'm spurred on to do likewise. Afterall, my dad had mentioned before that he'll love to visit the "durian" sometime...