WIN WIN WIN

Attended WIN at church just now. I'm so glad I went for it, cos there the Lord met me. I missed last week's session due to tiredness, and I remembered feeling somewhat regretful, so told myself that I should attend it today...

Have been feeling lousy these past weeks for various reasons. And I tend to be quite emotional despite journeying thru the circumstances with the Lord. I didn't understand where the Lord is leading me, and it was getting rather frustrating. At WIN today, there was one segment for us to hear God for a word for the person standing behind us. I received words of encouragement from 2 persons on "Victory" and "Prov3:5-6". So apt! That I needed to trust God and lean not on my own understanding. And I have the confidence that I will be victorious.

While praying for the person behind me, I vaguely see a key and a mold which the key fitted into perfectly. Didn't know what that meant, but when I shared with the brother, alas, he revealed that he is in the business of lock and key!! Amazing! And the analogy of him being the key to unlock God's goodness is so appropriate! It blows my mind to know that God does speak thru me to encourage other people! And that we can hear and discern His voice!

Another point that touched my heart was a lady's sharing that when we lift our hands in worship, we are actually reaching out to our Lord's heart, and He will reach out to our hearts too. She described how it is similar to children who raise their hands to their parents, wanting to draw close to them, and a parent's response would be to reach down too and draw close and whisper into the ear of the child. Oh, such reminder of our Heavenly Father's love!

Jiang Hua Yu

Finally bought the chinese CD that I have been eyeing for several weeks =) Ever since I knew that Streams of Praise was coming to our ch, I've been wanting to buy at least one of their albums. Unfortunately, didn't manage to catch them live nor buy any album. So today, since I was already in town for work, I purposely made a trip to TP at Plaza to get the CD. Am currently enjoying the songs even as I type this entry. I think its sometimes a refreshing change to worship the Lord in Mandarin. Its like worshiping God from a different faculty of the brain as expressing ourselves in English and in Mandarain are different.

The League

Ha, was asked to join in the fantasy league for EPL this season. Agreed to it finally although I know very little about who's who and which teams are good etc... W helped me set up the team at the very last minute before the season began. Didn't do too well during the first week. Sigh.

Was up till quite late, some days back, in an attempt to read up more about the players. Have even roped in my dad to help select players! And to my sweet surprise, he was very interested and very helpful. He took my teamlist, and some info of other team players, and studied in at work, before coming back to me in the evening with his suggestions! Amazing, but alas, the player I wished to let go is of such low value! Crap! Couldn't get any good ones to exchange with. Settled for one equivalent finally. Oh well, this league thingie seemed to give my dad more reason to keep posted about the games. And yes, we do have more conversation topics now. He just seems pleased to be able to talk with me about the teams and players... He even told me just now that my captain scored a goal although the team lost the match etc.. Yes, I am kept posted without having to log in to check. Hee.

But 1 thing I find about this league, the weekly transfers and updates do take up substantial amount of time... So not sure if I wish to devote so much to priming the team.

Just Another Kid

Finally finished reading the book "Just Another Kid" borrowed from J. Enjoyed the book very much as it detailed how the teacher masterfully managed a class of troubled kids with great patience and care, and how the kids responded to her.

As I pondered the story over, I suddenly saw myself as one of the kids, in the care of our Heavenly Teacher, how I am lovingly nurtured and shaped to be a beautiful person in Him. He handles each of my inabilities, my failings so masterfully and so personally. Oh, how I love the constant contact with Him. Yes, of late, I seem to sense His prodding more and more in various aspects of my life, to challenge me to respond to Him in love, in faith. Maybe I have become a little more atuned to Him through WIN, through NCC BS, through devotions, through practising His Presence. Yes, may I reflect His continuing handiwork in my life...

Ambassador

How apt, today being our Nation's birthday. My devotion today is from 2 Cor 5:11-6:2. I quote from vs 20:
"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us..."

I suddenly realised that God is making His appeal through us. How have I been conveying His appeal to others? His appeal was made with such love, humility, patience, sacrifice. In my hands, I have conveyed this appeal with embarrassment, with hesitation, with fear. Oh, what a mindset-breaking perspective!

Quote from the guide: "Ambassadors who genuinely love the 'country' they represent are much more attractive than those who deliver prepared speeches."

Hmmm, what is the deeper root of my fear and hesitation? I think I know...

Action time

When I was leaving my office last Friday evening, I noticed a group of staff standing together at a nearby grass patch, burning incense paper. Although I heard about this thing being planned some time back, seeing it with my own eyes just jolted me awake on the inside. I felt my heart ache as I sense His own ache.

For the past weeks since moving to my new Dept, I have been trying to ignore His gentle prompting to gather fellow Cs together regularly for prayer and support. I reasoned that I can't be the initiator and then get stuck as the facilitator / leader. I would have no energy to sustain this in the long run. Already have a cell to follow up with, and I can't imagine having to psyche myself up to lead this group in workplace too! Then, I recall the stint leading my Uni course prayer group. It was stressful, having to come up with group purpose, activities, weekly exhortation, worship etc. It's like planning for another cell. Moreover, I do not know if the Cs are keen. Afterall, its a commitment of sorts. What if they say yes, but never come regularly? Then I'll be left alone! Don't know if I am able to handle this kind of potential emotional ride! Also, a regular gathering of this nature, say during lunch time, would also be disruptive to some existing lunch kakis. And I'm not sure if I want to be cast in the limelight for initiating this. So, I kept pushing this out of my mind...

I knew that the model answer is that its never about me. I am just a willing instrument to be used. And I can draw strength from God, and need not be disappointed if nobody turns up. And also that I will surely have words of encouragement if I keep close to God daily and hear from Him. And it won't be burdensome as it would be a time of meeting with God.

When I saw the sight on Friday, I was upset with myself for not having the courage to obey God in gathering His people together, and having a unity that comes from Him. Surely when we come together to seek His face, He will honor us and accomplish His purpose in and through us. We would also be able to support each other as we face the work challenges. I am a C who happens to be an engineer, not an engineer who happens to be a C.

After pondering this issue with the Lord, I knew that I just had to move by faith. I could not ignore the promptings of the HS. Only pray that He will prepare the other chaps as well, to want to come together as a prayer support group. Currently, I can only think of 2 other persons to invite, but I'm sure that there are more. May He be exalted in our midst more and more. Yes, its time to come out from under the bowl and shine...